The cliches about the difficulties parents have talking to their children (and v/v) are numerous - and once you've heard them, say, 20 or 30 times, you wonder why people aren't listening to themselves: "Teenagers never look you in the eye," "If I tell her anything, she goes ballistic," etc, etc. Not even worth wracking the brain for more - you know them well and have likely said them all.
Then there's Dr. Ruth Nemzoff's new book, Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships with Your Adult Children, which comes out in just a couple of weeks. I was lucky to receive the uncorrected proofs (now known as ARC, advanced reading copy) and have enjoyed it immensely. In a sentence, instead of stuffing it when you're afraid to engage a touchy subject, do the opposite, she says, and pay attention to how you're really feeling and what your child (or you and your parent) is/are really saying. Goes both ways. It's no news that we're trapped in a lot of unproductive patterns as parents and kids but as Ruth takes apart one anecdote after another, we (OK, I) begin to see shades of myself: an adult son, laid off, and his family move back in with his single mom, who's enjoying her life. Animosities develop and then the mom has the guts to throw some light into the dark corners. (For the record, my kids are not being laid off or moving back in - breathe easy, girls.)
Chapter titles hit the touchiest of touchies: Emerging Adulthood, Refilling the Nest, Weddings, Grandparenting, Money, Eternal Triangles...you get the picture. Ever had a fight over any of those, readers?
Everyone I've mentioned this book to has said the same thing: "I need to read that."
You do.
I don't make a practice of listing every speaking engagement that my writer friends have (yes, Ruth's a friend and a member of our famous Fiction Book Club) but given the tremendous response to the book evidenced by the LARGE number of talks and interviews she's already booked, I'm doing that here. Congrats, Ruth! And, for the record, she and her hubby Harris Berman are parents of four grown children (and six grandchildren) - and they're all still on speaking terms:
JULY 28 Monday
8:00 PM
Wellfleet,MA Public Library
55 West Main Street Wellfleet, MA 02667
Contact: Elaine McIlroy, [email protected],
508-349-0310
AUGUST 9 Saturday
8:00 AM and 2:00 PM
Radio Interview
WNSH "Countdown to College"
AUGUST 10 Sunday
6:00 PM
Radio Interview
WNSH "Countdown to College"
AUGUST 19 Wednesday
7:30 PM – 8:45 PM
Newton, MA Free Library,
Druker Auditorium
330 Homer Street Newton, MA 02459
Contact: Ellen Meyers, 617-796-1410, [email protected]
-Books will be provided by New England Mobile Book Fair
AUGUST 22 Friday 5:30 PM Ogunquit, ME chavurah Contact person [email protected]
SEPTEMBER 13 Saturday
12PM – 2PM
Barnard '62 Washington DC reunion
Contact: [email protected] / [email protected]
SEPTEMBER 14 Sunday
4-6 PM
Wine & cheese to meet the author Washington DC
Contact: [email protected] 202 244-6150
SEPTEMBER 15 Monday
7:30 PM
Meet the Author Dessert Reception
Baltimore ,MD
Contact: [email protected]
SEPTEMBER 17 Wednesday
Brandeis National Women's Committee
Monroe township, NJ
Contact: [email protected]
SEPTEMBER 18 Thursday
6:30 PM to 9:30 PM
Barnard College Continuum Program
Contact: [email protected]
212-854-0313
SEPTEMBER 25 Thursday
12PM – 1:30PM
MIT
Contact: A. Rae Simpson: (617) 253-1952 – [email protected]
OCTOBER 7 Tuesday
7 PM
Framingham,MA Public Library
OCTOBER 19 Sunday
9:30 AM – 10:25 AM
Tufts Parents Weekend
Aidekman Arts Gallery, Alumnae Lounge
Contact: Linda Levin-Scherz - [email protected]
NOV 8 Saturday
7:00 PM
Second Step Dinner speaker
Chestnut Hill, MA
Tanya Crowley - [email protected]
NOV 12 Wednesday
2:20 PM – 4:30 PM
UMass/Boston
Center for Women in Politics and Public Policy
Fall Forum
Contact: Christa Kelleher, christa. [email protected]
